Vanishing Velez

Friday 12/1 , I had a therapy appointment that my husband was able to join me on. This was the first time that he had met this particular therapist, and I thought that it was an interesting conversation, so I thought I would share a little bit.

A lot of the conversation was about he and I getting on the same page regarding surgery. It turns out that Albert is more nervous about the surgery than I thought he was. I think that I was very much in my own head about wanting the surgery that I did not really think about what Albert thought.

He also had some concerns-most of which I had considered-but that are still valid concerns. One of the big ones is mealtime, so I’m going to discuss his thoughts and potential solutions first.

1. Post surgery, I will not be able to eat even close to the volume I currently do. However, I do a fair bit of the cooking, and when I don’t feel like eating, I also don’t feel like cooking. This could make things very difficult for Albert, but also the baby, because by surgery time she should be eating solids too.

There are a couple of solutions to this. The first solution is that we can meal prep ahead of time and use the garage freezer for storage. Normally I make 8×8 pans, but could probably make individual portions instead. The only real problem with this is that I would have no idea what to do in regards to the cook time, and aluminum can’t go in the microwave. Another option is that we cook one entrée and make enough for 3 or 4 days, and then just make sides day of. This would probably work, since Albert definitely is way more OK with eating leftovers than I am.

2. Albert is a planner, and you can’t really plan for this

This is 100% accurate. While bariatric surgery is currently considered the safest surgery that you could have, I recognize that that statistic has some hidden issues. One of the main reasons that it is considered so safe is that it is performed so often. The more surgeries that happen successfully, the lower your risk goes. Here are the biggest risks for the type of surgery that I am getting:

• Blood clots
• Gallstones (risk increases with rapid or
  substantial weight loss)
• Hernia
• Internal bleeding or profuse bleeding of the
  surgical wound
• Leakage
• Perforation of stomach or intestines
• Skin separation
• Stricture
• Vitamin or iron deficiency

However, following the post-operative guidelines reduces these risks substantially.

I had to have a serious conversation with Albert though, about the fact that you can never really plan for anything and that that can’t stop me from doing what I think is the right thing for me.

3. The biggest concern that Albert had was my ability to stick with things.

I do think that this is a very real concern. I have struggled to lose weight my entire life, and I have this fear of doing things by myself. I have less self esteem than I would like to have, and always think that people are watching me and judging me. I know that this is total crap, but I can’t help it. This means that I struggle doing things like going to the gym. When I was doing kickboxing, it was easier since it was a class, but we don’t do that anymore.

I also definitely find it very easy to make excuses for why I can’t do something. I’m tired, or I’m sore, or I don’t feel well are all excuses. I’m snacky or it’s just a little bite are excuses. I need to learn to choose to exercise and choose to eat healthy.

A few things that work for me are

1. having a gym buddy-If I know someone is waiting for me, I am way more likely to go to something. This is because I am way more afraid of letting people down than I am set on whatever my excuse is.
2. My Bento box-I know they’ve been around since at least the 12th century in Japan, but I just discovered them recently when they started being popular. I know that some people think it’s crazy to jump on the bandwagon, but this really works. I love the little compartments because it truly limits what I can and can not fit in them, and also forces me to have way more variety in my diet. I’ve included a picture below of what is in my box today.

Anyways, I digress. What Albert and I still need to get on the same page about is what types of foods we want to keep in the house. For example, yesterday I he said that we needed to get mac and cheese at the grocery store to make with the pork chops (I have never seen albert make pork chops without mac and cheese), and I asked if we could try just having a vegetable instead. He was against it because he said that he would still be hungry. This is valid, but he hasn’t even tried. He suggested that he just makes one box for him, and while that is an option and I will need to get used to him eating things that I can’t, we are trying to eat through what is in our house before we buy a lot more. We have a ton of rice that we need to eat through, so we agreed on rice instead.

Now I don’t want you to think that I’m bashing Albert, because that is not my intention. He very much just wants what’s best for me, and he’s not the only one with reservations. The reason I wanted to share this is because we often see people who say “I’m getting weight loss surgery” and don’t hear anything from the other people in their lives. Bariatric surgery affects everybody in the family, not just the people who are getting the surgery. That’s important to remember.

Next post will be about my 1 month Nutrition Appointment.